Congratulations to Victoria who won the single parent session with her little girl! Her story was so powerful that I asked her if she would mind that I share it, along with a picture of her beautiful baby.
I can’t wait to meet you both! 🙂
I got married 9 days after I turned 18. I thought I was in love, but I was naive and lacked the maturity to know the difference between what I thought was love and what love really was. I married a man 18 years older than me. Everyone thought I was crazy, and looking back on it I think I was too, but he made me feel needed and desired and that filled a void in me. I was insecure, and this relationship was what I thought I needed to make me feel whole. I lacked self respect for myself and gave him everything I had. I gave up my dreams of going to college because he didn’t want me to go to school because he thought I might meet someone else. He kept me from my family and friends and made sure I didn’t leave his side. He was controlling in every aspect of our relationship and used it against me.
About 3 weeks into our marriage he started to become abusive. I kept telling myself that he was under stress and he didn’t mean to hurt me. Every time it would happen he would always tell me he was sorry and he just lost his temper. Everyday it got worse and worse. He would not only hurt me physically, but tell me awful things about myself. His mental abuse had a control over me that not even myself could understand. The whole time I would always tell myself this is not what I had planned for my life. I wanted to go to college, have a career and someday a family with someone who loved me not hurt me. We fought constantly and nothing I did ever pleased him. After enduring 3 months of what seemed like an eternity, I finally got the courage to leave. Luckily I had a mother who would be there for me no matter what and I knew I could always come home. I called a friend one night to come pick me up and she took me home. As soon as I walked in the front door, my mom just held me and started crying. I loved at home for 1 month and then moved out on my own so I could start school. I had my own apartment and worked full time. I loved being so independent. Looking back, I realize it was too soon to be by myself but no one could have told me that then. I had filed for an annulment right after I left my husband and it was granted 2 months later. I was lonely living by myself and was in a vulnerable emotional state. My ex found out where I worked and soon we were in contact again. He swore up and down he would never hurt me again and that he was lost without me. Only 3 weeks after that he started to become physical again. This time I was not going to put up with any more.
Just about this time I found out I was pregnant. I knew there was no way I would ever let him around my child with his kind of behavior. I only had a few days left of school until the semester was over so I had my mom come stay with me so I wouldn’t be alone. As soon as I finished school my mom and I packed up my belongings from my apartment and I never looked back. I knew I was not only responsible for my life or safety but I was responsible for the life of another human being. I was finally at the point where I had enough and I wanted to be in control of my own life. I moved in with my grandparents which was 6 hours away. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going and I lost contact with all of my friends. There was no way I wanted my ex husband to know where I was. I knew I had to continue school so I could support not only myself but for my child. I already loved this baby so incredibly much that I was willing to do whatever it took. There was never a doubt in my mind that I would ever do anything to harm this baby by letting her dad know about my pregnancy. I didn’t tell him and some people think that is wrong, but it is a matter of both of our lives. 68% of abusive spouses also abuse their children. I wanted more for my child and myself. I didn’t miss one semester of school. I immediately enrolled in college and finished my 2nd semester while I was pregnant. My baby was due December 25th and I was done with school on the 15th. My mom had moved to Arkansas and I was still in Ca. waiting to have the baby. She came out to be there for the birth. I had Madison on Christmas day! I waited until she was 4 weeks old and we moved to Arkansas with my mom. She is the most precious blessing I have ever received and I can’t imagin life without her.
Everyday I look at her face and I know why I had to go through what I did. Sometimes I get discouraged because being a single parent is challenging, but I know that it has made me who I am and it has made me so much stronger. I am still in school and will graduate a year from now. I am so thankful I have my mom here to help me. She is my support system and I will forever be grateful to her for all the help she has given me. Everything happens for a reason and I wouldn’t change anything for the world.
Here is a picture of her precious Madison
They will be receiving a photo session and a $500 print credit!
